In claims, you are expected to show a customer-friendly face to the customer. You are expected to cajole physicians and others into sending you information about a claim. You have to deal forcefully with opposing attorneys ... and gently with insurance commissioners who ask you to account for the way you handled a particular case. Of all these communications, perhaps none is as important as your way of stating your ideas to opposing lawyers. A well-crafted letter that remains clear and factual, instead of rambling and Rambo-like is likely to help you sell settlements, maintain relationships, and handle claims more amiably. For your claims department, this is money in the bank. The following letter (names, of course, have been changed) to an attorney shows some of the pitfalls in this type of communication. Following the letter will be analysis of it, including commentary drawn from similar letters I have seen in my on-site seminars in Claims Writing. These comments, on both writing, and insurance issues, are aimed at helping you spot pitfalls in your own letters and those of your colleagues: November 1, 2008 BREEN & EVERETT, LLP ATTORNEY KAREN BREEN PO BOX 456 STANTON, MD 12345 RE: Our Claim Number: 57638T47R34 Our Policy Number: T-67589 Our Insured: Hart Smyth Date of Loss: November 30, 2004 Your Client: Sarah Barton Ms. Breen, I have received our letter of October 30, 2004, along with the demand proposal for your client, Sarah Barton. After review of the medical information provided, I would like to extend an offer of $1700.00. My offer is based on the following: Ms. Barton did not seek medical attention until twenty-one days after the accident. At that time she was diagnosed with a cervical strain. X-rays were taken and were essentially normal with the exception of some calcification which was present in the past. On April 12, 2004, Dr. Stevens released your client stating that she had full range of motion of the neck and no longer had headaches. He felt that she had healed 100%. In regards to the wage loss, I do not find anything in your clients records that shows a doctor had restricted her from working. You had sent us a letter on January 25th indicating there was no wage loss and then on June 8th you said there was wage loss. It was also stated in the records that on December 29, 2003 the patient had resumed her work which included moving furniture. Therefore, we do not feel we owe any wage loss to your client. Again, based upon the review of the medical information on your client, I wish to offer $1700.00. We have a lien from Longley Bank in the amount of $913.32 which we will reimburse directly to them. Please review with your client and advise me of your decision. Respectfully, ACME Insurance 1. Format Properly. There are a few format issues to be discussed. Why, for example, did the writer use all CAPS in the inside address? Some companies require this because the letter will be sent in a see-through envelope. The all-capitals format is what the post office people like to see; to a customer, however, the all caps detracts from the personal quality of a business letter. In the inside address, we expect to see Ms. BreenAca,!a,,cs name first (no need to call her Aca,!A"Attorney Karen BreenAca,!?). If she has a title (e.g., Managing Partner), that title would be the second line of the inside address. The Aca,!A"REAca,!? line, being a bit lengthy, could be placed to the right side of the page. The advantage of this is that the reader glances at the information and proceeds with the letter, instead of dwelling on the Aca,!A"ReAca,!? line. Following the Aca,!A"ReAca,!? line, there should be a salutation (Dear Ms. Breen:) and not just Aca,!A"Ms. BreenAca,!? Some people avoid Aca,!A"DearAca,!? in letters but Aca,!A"DearAca,!? carries with it no particular implication of intimacy. To dispense with dear, I believe, is to sound abrupt. The closing, Aca,!A"RespectfullyAca,!? always strikes me as unnecessarily solemn and off-putting. Why not just go with Aca,!A"SincerelyAca,!??